


Under our skin

by ZenHeyerdall



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Hopeful Ending, I love him, M/M, caleb is a librarian for the cobalt soul, essek is some kind of politician, my easter egg is Verin Thelyss, so theres gonna be some mentions of blood an injuries and self harm, soulmates that feel the pain of the soulmate, these two are two disasters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-07
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-13 19:34:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29906004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZenHeyerdall/pseuds/ZenHeyerdall
Summary: Essek Thelyss had spent much of his life needing no one and living a perfect life, sometimes he feels some weird pain under his skin that has no explanation.Calb Widogast starter being Caleb years ago, leaving a painful past and man scars behind and he only prays to the Gods that no one else felt his pain.
Relationships: Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast
Comments: 2
Kudos: 26





	Under our skin

Essek Thelyss had spent much of his life needing no one, he had been born with all the privileges that his surname had granted him to obtain one of the highest positions that the government of Xhorhas could afford to have.

Of course he also knew that not everything had been due to his surname, great things had always been expected of him for being a Thelyss, in the same way that the same had been expected of his younger brother, but he had exceeded any expectations they had. put in it and it could even be said that he himself had set the bar very high for those who wanted to overcome it.

He was quite proud of himself, really.

He knew that his life was far from perfect, he wasn't fool enough to ignore the morally questionable things he had done in order to obtain the knowledge he desired and the consequences of his actions that would land him in jail if discovered. Obviously he hadn't wanted a war to break out and people to die but he felt that his people were too obsessed with something and weren't incapable of seeing beyond this and that as soon as he had the opportunity to let someone else experiment for him, he did. He had the feeling that the war would have broken out anyway even if he hadn't done anything since his queen and the king of the Dwendalian Empire weren't exactly the best of friends and there were tensions between them that even a bad look would have made everything explode.

That, of course, didn't make him feel so proud and it was a shameful secret that he jealously guarded.

But thanks to his own precautions that hadn't happened but he knew that his stability hung by a thread that sometimes seemed very fine and at other times, very thick. He was also aware of everything he kept to himself, everything he wanted to say and didn't say because it could cost him his job and they would destroy the family name and cause his brother to lose his place in the army that had cost him so much to obtain. Although the former didn't really matter to him as much as the latter.

Although it's not that he came to understand why his brother had decided to do that with his life, perhaps he thought it was a way to honor the memory of their father but Essek thought that if he wasn't careful he would end up suffering a fate more or less similary. In his own way, he cared for Verin, since no matter how different they were, they were still brothers and not only did he not wish him any harm, but he didn't want to lose the only member of the family who, no matter how annoying he was at times , cared about him. Verin used to appear out of nowhere and without warning at his home to take him out of his investigations so that, according to him, "he could get some fresh air and socialize a bit because he had already worked enough and one day he was going to die surronded by paperwork."

But he could be worse so he couldn't complain much, unlike others, he had survived.

At least until, suddenly, something strange began to happen to him.

He was in the middle of an investigation when it happened, Essek was a person who appreciated knowledge above many things, it was above his faith, if he ever had, and despite his work he intended not to leave aside from researching the Luxon and how it could be used, there was nothing he enjoyed more, once the exhausting political meetings were over at the queen's council he was delighted to be able to devote his attention to his research. Creating spell was fascinating, it was right, he always felt that this what he was born for. But in the middle of the transcript of his new creation, a pain began to run through him that spread through his right arm and caused him to drop his pen to the ground. It was so serious that he even noticed how it reached the tips of his fingers, it was as if there was something burning under his skin, Essek in an attempt to understand what was happening to him, raised the sleeve of his shirt in the hope of seeing if there was something different about his skin.

But there was nothing, no burns, no scratches, no blood, nothing that could tell him what was happening.

Essek hissed in pain and let out a long breath as he closed his eyes and listed in his head a list of components for spells to distract his mind from that pain until it was gone. Once he stopped feeling it he rechecked his arm as if he expected there to be some mark when a few minutes ago there was none and obviously, there was nothing.

"Not again," the drow whispered reluctantly.

Itt wasn't the first time that something like this had happened to him and that isn't why he felt more comfortable with it but he hadn't happened for a long time, that he had to admit.

The first time had been many years ago and in fact it would have gone unnoticed by him had it not been for the fact that it was something that happened more times over the years , he was still young and he was with his brother at that time when it happened,Verin was rambling a lot about the military school he was going to be sent in a few weeks abd how lucky he was to be mentored with Quala Kryn. Essek had stopped listening to him a long time ago but he was doing his best to keep himfrom noticing. But in the middle of the conversation, with Verin talking about his curriculum, the older brother felt as if his ankle buckled and he tripped, causing his brother to grab it.

"Dude ! Are you ok?" asked his brother "How can it be that you have tripped when you spend the day floating?"

And Essek didn't know what to answer because he had no answer, the possibility of tripping while he was floating above the ground even a few centimeters were minimal if not null, so he didn't understand what had happened and he didn't care because the pain was making him think about just that and whether he had sprained his ankle or not. In the end Verin helped him to go home, both thinking that he was hurt but when they got home everything was fixed and it was as if nothing had happened.

Essek forgot about it for several weeks, considered it perhaps a side effect of the prolonged use of his spell and thought about making some improvements to it to avoid situations like that again.

But over the years similar things happened to him multiple times. He was calm, doing anything, when a sudden pain appeared out of nowhere and for a few minutes, sometimes stretching to hours, it stayed in his body.

Essek had decided to keep that to himself but over time he sought medical help, thinking that it must not be because of some side effect of his spell but no one knew how to give a physical answer to it.

Whatever happened, he had no explanation, so he thought it was his body asking him to relax and he tried to take things a little more calmly and for a while it worked so he felt that he could return to his normal life.

Until that moment.

* * *

Caleb Widogast was born under another name, a name he had learned to bury deep within his mind that he couldn't forget, which was a problem.

Caleb's life had never been this quiet, only a couple of years ago he had managed to stabilize himself, have a home where he felt more or less safe, friends who loved him and whom he loved and a job as a librarian that he liked a lot and it allowed him access to the knowledge he needed for his research.

Anyone who saw him, he wouldn't have suspected that just a few years ago, Caleb wasn't even Caleb.

But Caleb knew well what had happened.

He remembered what it was like to live with his parents, they had never had much but at home there had never been a lack of love and laughter, he remembered how his father would invent an adventure of war every night, where in reality nothing was as terrible as it was in the real life, just because his son asked him, he remembered his mother's songs and the cakes she prepared for his birthday, he remembered how his mother healed his wounds when he was hurt playing or practicing magic, he remembered how they saved money to buy him books for his studies because they believed in him and his talent and that he was going to achieve great things.

After that almost all of his memories were painful and not because they were terrible moments, which they were, but because there was real pain, caused by Trent, a pain that even today he was able to remember as if it had happened hours ago.

He was lucky that no one in that world had the misfortune to share his pain.

One of her mother's favorite stories was the ones about soulmates, at least the ones she had known, herself and his father. As a child his mother had told him that she had felt his father's pain when he was training to be a soldier but that despite living in the same town both of them, it hadn't been by chance many years later that they realized what they were the one for the other and the funny thing is that by then they had been dating for months.

But now that he was older he thought it must be terrible that there was someone in the world who felt his pain, particularly since he himself was aware of the damage that someone would have experienced out of nowhere because of him.

Although that was something that remained in the past and although now there were no such things in his life, no one who would hurt him. He felt bad for that person, even if he didn't exist, no one deserved to have to put up with that shit from him.

Veth, her best friend who sometimes acted as his mother, had told him that he shouldn't think about things like that, that if that person existed it would be very lucky to be connected to him. That, even with that connection, what he would gain was much more than she , considering that she had Yeza as a soulmate, could explain in words. No one could, Jester or Beau had told him, not until you experienced it yourself.

Caleb wasn't thrilled at the idea of experiencing it for himself.

At least if there really was someone out there who felt his pain as if it were his own, he hadn't given them a problem for a while. The last time he had been injured was when he slipped on his way home the last time he snowed and ended up with a sprained ankle.

But otherwise, he had walked away from troublesome situations.

He was a normal man, with a good new life and nothing else.

He didn't expect anyone else to get involved in his life.

* * *

"Essek, an invitation has arrived for the exhibition on the first anniversary of the peace treaty," his brother informed him.

As usual when he was home, Verin had walked into his office without even having the decency to knock on the door to make sure he didn't interrupt any important meetings.

And so it had been although he luckily he wasn't in any video conference with anyone so as far as possible, he had only interrupted his thoughts. But when he walked in and announced that, Essek shot him a look that tried to tell him that it wasn't the best time for it.

He had forgotten the exhibition, mainly because he had no intention of attending, it had been a long year trying to prevent anyone from discovering his small participation in the reasons why the war broke out and he didn't really want to go to a place where he knew that important people on both sides could recognize him, because although he had come under a disguise and a false name, it would have been foolish of him to underestimate them and their ability to find his true identity. So he had planned to decline the invitation with some good excuse but if his brother was also invited to it he wasn't going to let him stay at home.

"And?" he could try to convince his brother to go in his place "I'm a busy man, Verin, I won't go"

"What? But if you are a high official in the government ”he reminded him“ and you are part of one of the most important families of the Kryn Dynasty, you cannot not go ”

"As I said, I'm busy" he repeated "but you can go in my place"

"I can't, the invitation is in your name" his brother came over and left it on his desk.

"And you don't have one?" Essek asked him.

"No, they only invite important government personalities to these events," Verin explained.

"But you are a member of the same Den as me" he didn't say it very often but sometimes it bothered him how everyone seemed to ignore that his brother was also a member of the Thelyss family , just because his career wasn't political but military, it didn't mean that he didn't have the same right to be invited to these meetings.

"Don't worry, it's okay, I don't mind to be honest" Verin sounded quite animated so it didn't seem like it bothered him that much even though he might be hiding it or pretending he didn't care.

"Then why are you complaining?" his brother asked him.

"Because if you don't go, we'll be hearing our mother's complaints for weeks," he reminded him.

That was a fair point, it wasn't as if theirmother, being the demanding woman she was with her two children, needed some excuse to criticize the decisions that one of the two brothers had made since the last time they had seen her but that didn't meant that he wanted to give her some reason to do it.

He was fucked.

"Which place ?" he asked his brother.

"I have heard that in a library in Zadash, Blue Cobalt or something like that" observed Veirn "a strange place to celebrate something like that but I have also heard that there will be like a dinner or something like that in another side of town, I'm not sure"

“You know a lot for someone who's not invited” observed Essek “also it's not weird, Verin, those places have rooms for things like that”.

"Social media would do that for you" replied the minor with a smile plastered on his face "is that so?"

"You're just ... teasing me, I guess" realizing that his brother was doing that, the eldest of the Thelyss wondered if Verin was ever going to take something seriously or if he lived to pester him.

"I was fucking with you but that also works" he added this "okay, I think I've already bothered you enough, see you in a few weeks and have fun, when you come back you want to tell me how much fun it has been"

* * *

It wasn't the first exhibition that had been held at Zadash's Archive of the Cobalt Soul since Caleb had started working there, but if the one that terrified him the most, very important people from both sides with opposing interests and a newfound peace were going to be together in a room.

Nobody had asked him but he thought that peace, like many others, was very fragile and he wasn't sure if he wanted to be near the place when it passed.

He was lucky that he had gotten a guest list in advance so he didn't have to worry about three names that he didn't want to meet that day. He didn't have much to do either, he just had to be there, behind the counter, ordering the books and making sure that no one who went to the exhibition, meeting or whatever it was entered there, while some members of the Cobalt Soul were inside the archive to avoid the same thing.

So Caleb hadn't really seen the guests and he didn't feel the need to know what was going on either, he didn't want to mix with those people. So for much of the celebration he spent it ordering the books that had been left in the return mailbox.

At least until he heard the footsteps of someone entering that part of the library, Caleb with several books in his hand that he planned to place on their respective shelves decided to leave one of the corridors and look for the intruder.

"Excuse me but this part of the archive is not part of the exhibition" he said aloud, hoping that the intruder heard him.

As Caleb stepped out into the main hallway that connected his desk to the entrance and exit, study tables, and computers, he was met by the person who had entered. He was floating, that's the first he noticed, the second that he was a drow and probably, and since he was there, an important member of the Dinasty. He was with his back to him, looking at a map they had of the Dwendalian Empire but something told him that he wasn't paying much attention to it.

Immediately, as soon as he heard that there was someone else, he turned and fixed his incredible blue-violet eyes in the other, causing Caleb to look away , somewhat uncomfortable by the sudden eye contact .

"I apologize" the voice of the stranger was soft, with a slight accent that must be typical in Xhorhas, Caleb hadn't dealt with many people there and didn't know if the accent was something common or was something particular of that person "I was ... searching for a place to ... be alone for a while, I didn't mean to disturb you, I just needed a time for myself ... there is too many people in there ”

"It's ... it's okay" he was quick to say. Caleb didn't know what to say, he wasn't good at talking to people who weren't in his group of friends.

"I guess I have to leave," added the drow.

He had to leave but somehow, Caleb couldn't bring himself to say that.

" _Nein_ " was the only thing he said although he didn't know why "I get that ... to want to be alone ... for a little while"

"Do you?" he asked him.

Finally, Caleb dared to look up, he felt ridiculous at the idea that there was something about the man that intimidated him enough not to want to look at him. And when he did, he was in awe.

That man from the Dynasty was probably one of the most handsome man or people he had ever seen in all his life, and he had to admit that he had met attractive people. He had heard rumors that the drow of the dynasty were hideous that they had teeth protruding from their mouths, completely blank and expressionless eyes, and more that made them look like it was a visual horror. But that man was nothing of the kind, he had the classic light violet-gray skintone tone that characterized his race, as well as his white hair, only that he wore it very short on the sides and a half curved coif to one side.

"Ja ... I do" he confirmed. He didn't say it but that was how he used to feel most of the time, he had improved of course but even from time to time he wanted to isolate himself from everyone "Didn't you like the party?"

"I didn't" admitted this "in fact, I didn't want to attend but ... sometimes you have to do things that you don't like for the ... sake of others"

"I also get that," he admitted. Sometimes he just did things because he knew it would make his friends happy.

"Also I come on behalf of my Den so I couldn't say no" added this.

"Den?" Caleb wasn't familiar with that term.

"My family" explained the other "Den Thelyss, I'm Essek Thelyss"

Caleb remembered perfectly the list of attendees to that exhibition, meeting or whatever, so he knew who he was. Essek Thelyss, he was the only one with that name on the entire list and if he was there, it was because he must be an important member of the Kryn dynasty, although he seemed quite young, he didn't think he would reach 25 years but he knew that the drow were deceptively young.

"Ah ... I'm Caleb ... Caleb Widogast" he considered that the right thing was for him to introduce himself "I work here as a librarian"

"I gather that much" observed Essek "no offense but you don't stike as someone like them"

Oh, you have no idea, Caleb thought, he probably would have turned into someone like that if his life hadn't taken another twist and he was quite happy about it.

"None taken" he added.

"I guess I should take my leave" observed the drow "as I said, I didn't mean to bother you"

"Ah ... it's okay ... I was just placing returned books, exam time begins tomorrow so I want to have everything ready for when they come" he explained. Although he knew that Essek hadn't asked about his work.

"But I've heard that the Cobalt Soul has a private part, right?" he asked him.

"Oh ja, it's only exclusive to exhibitors, historians and researchers," Caleb explained. He had access as a researcher and as he wasn't a member of the Cobalt Soul, he paid, as it were, for the trust they had placed in him by allowing him to access and inform himself for his research, working in the library. It was a good deal, he got a decent salary that he gave him to live with Beau and when he wasn't working he could go in to investigate.

"Ah, that's a shame," observed the drow, clicking his tongue, "I'm quite interested in ... knowledge, I suppose, especially arcane."

"Don't tell me." Caleb didn't want to sound as skeptical as his words had been, but rather that he was surprised at how similar it had sounded to himself.

"I'm a wizard, Mr. Widogast" he informed him gently "and time is one of my specialties" but that last thinghe said , unlike the above, showed how proud he was of it.

"I didn't want it to sound that way, my apologies" he hurried to say to the other "I was surprised, that's all, mine is transmutation but I had never heard any magic related to time"

“I don't think that in the empire you study the same as in the dynasty” he observed “transmutation? Interesting ... "the drow looked at him with a slight smile plastered on his face" I think the type of magic to which one is related says a lot about the person "

Caleb swallowed hard, he wanted to ask him what that said about himself, especially when he had always known that it was fire that had been easier for him and what he really said about him, he doubted that he had changed that much. Better thought, maybe he didn't want to know.

" _Ja_ , I'm working on a personal project, that's why I'm working here, to have access," he explained.

"I also work on my personal projects when I have free time" observed the drow, only to make a face as if remembering something unpleasant "which lately is not much"

"Well, I hope you find yourself working on whatever is on your mind" Caleb felt that this man, Essek, had a mind similar to his, that he was someone who wanted to learn, experiment and achieve his goals. He felt that whatever went through the other's head was going to be infinitely interesting and he wanted to know, desperately, there was something about it that made him want to learn everything he could teach him.

"That's very kind of you" he admitted "I wish you the same, it's been nice talking to you but I think I have to go back"

" _Ja_ , I understand" although Caleb was disappointed by it because although he understood that Essek was there for official Xhorhas business and not to have a conversation with him, but it didn't mean that he felt sorry for it.

Caleb decided to accompany the drow to the door, even though they weren't that far from them either, even so he did, which earned him a half smile from him. Not because he believed that if he turned around and left it open to him, he would return to the interior of the library, but because he hoped that during the brief journey they would be able to talk something more.

"It was a pleasure meeting you" Essek said when they arrived at the door "I hope we meet each other again in other circumstances but in the meantime ... we should exchange emails or numbers, I am interested in knowing how that research of yours is going"

" _Was_ ...? “Something in Caleb's brain stopped at that moment, he wasn't a popular man, outside of his circle of friends he had no one else and there were no people interested in talking to him again, meeting him or going out for a drink or to the museum so he was surprised. He didn't even think he had heard correctly.

"Do you have a phone?" he asked him, thinking that maybe that was why he had been surprised.

"Oh ja, I have one" a gift from his old roommate, Veth.

“Here, let me” with a wave of his hand, Essek made a notebook appear in his left hand, in which he jotted something down, tore the page and offered it to him “You can contact me here, don't worry, you won't bother me "

"Uh ... danke ·" Caleb took the paper seeing that the drow had written on it his number and his email, just as he had told him. And he, being as he was, memorized it on the spot "Allow me, I should write mine" he added.

And that's when Caleb made himself the biggest fool possible, in the pockets of his jacket he had a small notebook and a pen where he wrote down the list of books he needed to consult so as not to overload so much or depend on his perfect mind, but with how nervous he was he hadn't remembered that in the morning he had put away a pair of scissors that he planned to use at work because the olders that he had were broken. So when he tried to pick up one thing, he prodded himself with the other, Caleb jumped, more from shock than from pain but saw that Essek himself was rubbing his right hand, the same one in which he had hurt himself , nervously.

" _Fick mich_ ” he growled "I'm a clumsy shit"

"Are you ok?" Essek asked him.

“Ja, it's just a scratch” it wasn't even bleeding so it wasn't a cut as such but it hadn't been pleasant “just forgetting that I keep things without thinking in my pockets” Caleb wrote his contact information in the notebook and asked him gave the other sheet "I guess ... we'll talk later?"

"Oh indeed, we will talk"

* * *

Hours later Essek was in the hotel room assigned to him, mulling over what had happened a few hours ago, in the fact that the moment Caleb had punctured himself, cut himself or whatever, he had felt that same pain under his skin as if it were his.

That was what had happened to him before, but this time it was the first time that it had happened to him almost at the same time as someone else.

He didn't want to think about it but somehow, he found herself thinking about Caleb, how quickly they had felt they had hit it off and how they were somehow similar, that their interests, because of the little they had talked about, were similar. He felt that he was ... a soul similar to his.

Which made him feel stupid.

He had saved Caleb's phone in his contacts and was tempted to text him just to let him know it was him but he also thought that sounded desperate on his part and he didn't know if that would put him in a good place or not.

Why was making friends so difficult? Verin didn't seem to have a problem socializing but it was a whole different universe for him.

And speaking of the devil ...

His phone began to vibrate on the table next to the bed, Essek wasn't called by many people because they knew that he was busy enough not to answer and that for that he had hired an assistant to years. So there was only one person who called him despite everything.

Verin.

Although it could also be Caleb, whom he had told to call without problems but as soon as he saw his brother's name on the screen, he sighed resignedly and put the speakerphone .

"What do you want, Verin?"

"Dude, to be someone who comes from a party you sound very bitter"

"It wasn't a party"

"Was there alcohol? If there is alcohol, it is considered a party, the rules say that, Essek "

"Verin, I don't think you called for us to discuss what is considered a party and what is not."

"Nope, I just wanted to know if you had a good time"

"I have survived an afternoon of chatting with people I loathe from both Xhorhas and the Dwendalian Empire, all pretending to be radiant with our new peace."

"You don't think they are?"

"It is not my duty to say yes or no, Verin" Essek knew, of course they weren't, the tensions hadn't been resolved despite the peace treaty and surely another small minor event could start a war again but this time , he told himself, he would have nothing to do with it.

"So ... you hated it all"

"Not all"

"What do you mean?"

"Something ... weird happened"

“What-do-you-mean, Ess? "He asked, the voice of his brother, almost always cheerful, joking and full of life sounded serious" Who do I have to kill? "

"Nobody, don't be dramatic"

"But are you going to tell me?"

"It happened to me .... you know ... that "thing" ..."

“It hasn't happened to you for a long time, right? But it's nothing strange, Ess ... I mean, it's ... but ... it has happened to you more times "

"It happened to me just when I was close to someone and that person ... well...he cuted himself or something like that and then I felt his pain, as if it was mine"

"WHAAAAAAAAAAT?"

"You don't have to be so loud" Essek appreciated having put on the loudspeaker because if not, his brother would have made him deaf.

"How can you be so calm? That's weird as shit "

"Because surely it was a coincidence, it has happened to me other times being with more people"

"But had any of those people been injured or something?"

"No"

"There you go, weird"

There were a few minutes of silence and Essek savored it thinking that his brother had given up but he heard that he was typing on what must be his laptop.

"So ... do you want to hear something funny?"

"I doubt that what you find funny will seem so to me"

"True, for that you have to have a sense of humor"

"Speak up if you are going to say something important, if not hang up and leave me to my business"

"Jeez, okay ... I'm talking ... So there is a story from the empire" his brother explained as if he were reading "most likely a fable or a children's story but they say that there are people who sometimes feel the pain of another as if it were his, that that person may be doing whatever, I don't know sleeping for example, that the other is whoever cuts himself making dinner and that the one who sleeps notices it as if he himself but he isn't hurt. They say that these people are known as soulmates, I think according to this, that man is your soulmate "

Essek had to laugh, he had to because what Verin had just read was the biggest stupidity he had ever heard from him and throughout his years he had heard nonsense spoken by people who thought they were truly intelligent.

"I didn't know that you were also a comedian, Verin"

"It wasn't a joke"

"Of course it was"

"It is what it says"

"Well, they've teased you, that's a children's story, it's not true"

"Whatever, I was just trying to help, gonna hang up now that I have to get up early, good night Essek, talk to you another day"

"Good night, Verin"

Essek took a few seconds to collect his thoughts, he didn't believe that it was really that, he knew that Verin was either teasing him or that he had believed what he had read so he didn't have to give much more thought to the matter but despite saying that over and over again, he kept wondering if that possibility was likely.

Better for Caleb that he didn't have to be tied to him for life.

* * *

Caleb didn't suspect anything weird about his meeting with Essek, perhaps what had surprised him the most was that someone of his level wanted to keep in touch with someone like him, he didn't know what he could see interesting in him but somehow, after send that first shy message to his phone greeting him a couple of days after what happened in the library, they had continued talking for months.

In reality, what had happened was that during a Friday night that they were meeting at Jester and Fjord's house for a pizza and Netflix night, he had ended up being the victim of an interrogation by the blue tiefling who wanted to know if people of the Kryn Dynasty were as strange as rumors had it.

And Caleb had to tell him no, that, in fact, the only guest he had ever spoken to hadn't seemed quite the way the government made the citizens of the Empire believe they were. And of course, he once mentioned having met someone there was a general interest in asking him who that person was and although he didn't go into many details he told them about Essek and that they had ended up exchanging ways to keep in touch.

"OMG CALEB, you've made a friend!" Jester exclaimed “how is it? Is he hot? Can we meet him? "

"Yeah, I want to see my boy's new friend" added Veth "I want to see if he's worth of his friendship"

"I wouldn't go that far but I'm curious if he's real" admitted Beau "it's strange that you have friends outside of us"

"Which doesn't mean it's bad" added Fjord "I'm glad that you have found a new friend"

"Yes, I'm glad for you too" Yasha, who rarely smiled, gave him a smile, pleased by that.

"Indeed, I hope we meet him but don't rush things, Caleb, we want you to be happy but take your time" Caduceus, at least seemed to be one of the voices of reason.

"We ... it's early to call him my friend," he admitted.

"Call him or send him a message!" Jester exclaimed "do it, tell him that you found him so hot and that you want to have a date with him"

"That's ... that's anticipating events" Caleb, in those moments, wanted to hide somewhere.

"Yeah but talk to him" Beau suggested "you could use more friends"

"Thats, right, you deserve more friends" Veth added, and that was the last thing that was said on the subject.

Of course he understood that his friends were excited and interested in that mysterious person from the Kryn Dynasty, especially since Caleb wasn't the most sociable person in the world and he didn't usually interact with anyone outside his group of friends or his work and he was capable of understanding that they were curious about Essek, but they had barely spoken yet and he didn't want to scare him by telling him that his friends wanted to meet him, especially since he knew that the Mighty Nein, who called themselves that way, were quite chaotic and loud and Essek could get overwhelmed quickly.

Although he did decide to send him a message the next day, perhaps thinking that he wasn't going to reply because he could be busy but Essek didn't only answer but assured him that it didn't bother him and that it would never bother him.

Caleb didn't know much to say and it was clear to him from the start that the drow didn't seem to be a social person either, which struck him as ironic knowing that the drow was in politics. So their conversations, at first they were quite shy and without really much to say and it wasn't something that happened every day but in the end they found something in which they were similar and in which they felt comfortable talking, they were both wizards and Caleb felt curious about the kind of magic Essek had mentioned that he was a specialist in.

"We have to school of magic that aren't taught in the empire" he had explained in a message "one is chronurgy magic and the other is graviturgy magic"

"Sounds interesting" Caleb replied that way because he, who wanted to learn as much as possible about magic "and will one day teach me a spell of either of the two?" he could use some time magic.

"Maybe, I would like to know first if you are worthy of it or not" he replied "don't take it the wrong way but I am considered a prodigy and these spells have taken me many years to develop and I want to make sure that I share my knowledge to someone who knows how to appreciate it ”.

"I get it, I wouldn't give away the fruits of hard work to anyone" he admitted "but I also hope that you find me worth it”.

"We'll see" Essek didn't seem to promise anything and Caleb figured it was because they weren't close enough for him to prove that he was worthy.

And that was the only time they talked about the possibility of meeting again even if it was to exchange spells.

But the Wintercrest holidays and the end of the year were approaching and the Might Nein's group chat was fuming with the barrage of ideas about what to make it special to say goodbye to the year in a way that according to Beau “had to be epic”, Caleb didn't care what to do or where to go, he just wanted to have a good time with his friends and start the year surrounded by people he appreciated. So when Jester said that they could go to celebrate in Rosohna, the capital of Xhorhas, the wizard thought that somehow, the blue tiefling was trying to mediate a bit because since she found out about Essek's existence she had been trying to find out who he was and make them both meet again. If the rest of the group was involved in that plan, he didn't knew, although he suspected that they were because all of them thought it good to make that trip, they started looking for accommodation for those dates. He had no real proof of them until Veth gently told him one day that he could invite his friend if he had no plans for those days.

As he probably had plans of his own (since he had mentioned once having a younger brother who used to show up at his place almost always without warning), Caleb decided to call him to let him know of the future trip to his city. Essek took a few seconds to answer which made him consider that he was probably busy.

"Caleb?" Essek answered just as he was about to hang up and he sounded a little sleepy.

"Essek? Did I wake you?" because that's how he seemed to him.

"Well ... yes ... but I really appreciate it" he admitted "I fell asleep while working."

"Essek ... that's not ... _gut_ ," Caleb muttered.

"I have been working these last days in some reports that have come from an outpost that we have in Aeor" explained the drow "apart from the meetings that I have every day in the council of the queen and the work that she entrusts me"

Caleb couldn't really understand what kind of work Essek had, mostly because he often acted as part of the queen's council (which wasn't that different from what happened in the Dwendalian Empire) or at least he worked for her and also attended to official acts but he also did research work, although that was more on his own. He had told him that most of his duties were based on his last name, since he was the heir to the Thelyss family and that it was the Bright queen, the one who reigned but generally left certain important tasks to the main members of the three Den more important that there were in Rosohna since the rest of the cities controlled by the dynasty in Xhorhas had a leader, either as Zethris Olios who ruled the city of Asarius under his orders or Essek's own brother, who according to him had commented he was in one of the highest military position that de Dynasty had and that he was in control of Bazzoxan but that he wasn't treated with as much importance as he was within the dynasty. Even knowing all that, he didn't know anything.

"So you haven't been resting properly" the wizard sounded concerned, and it was ironic that he cared about Essek when he didn't have a very normal sleep schedule himself.

"That's one way to put it" Essek chuckled "but I guess you didn't call me to talk about my bedtime habits"

" _Nein_ " Caleb cleared his throat, looking for the normal way to announce that "so my friends and I have been talking about taking a little trip to finish for the Wintercrest holidays and celebrate the end of the year and they have suggested renting a house in Rosohna"

“Oh we don't celebrate Wintercrest in the Dynasty” he observed “but I don't think you will have problems finding accommodation, I can provide suggestions if necessary and with the peace treaty I don't think you will have any problems traveling either, especially if your passport is valid "

Caleb preferred not to say that his passport was fake because Caleb Widogast didn't really exist until a few years ago. But it seemed that Essek wasn't surprised by the sudden visit to the city where he lived or perhaps it was that his brain was still dormant enough to process the information.

So he had to drop the last bomb.

"I ... I also would want you to join us" he announced shyly, preparing for rejection "I mean, we have been talking for months and also..it would be nice for you ... to relax for a bit. ..if you're not busy, of course "

"I'm guessing that you're friends are curious," Essek observed.

"Ja ... a bit" and he was being gentle"but as I said, you don't have to come if you're busy"

"I'm going to be busy" he confirmed "but I can clear part of my schedule to have dinner with all of you ..."

"You would do that?" Caleb asked him, not believing his luck.

"Since you're coming here it would be rude of me of not coming to see you at least one time," Essek admitted.

"You are not obligated" he reminded him, they had decided to go there, Essek hadn't invited them and he had no reason to put aside his work to please some people he didn't know.

"I know but I want to" he assured him soft tone in his voice, a thing that was unusual for him because he always sounded serious when he spoke and depending on the conversation, passionate "also I want to show you a few things" and with that, Caleb jolted, was he talking about some spell?

"Let me warn you ... my friends are good people, too good for me actually but they are somewhat noisy and can be somewhat ... overwhelming for those who don't know them" and it seemed to him that the drow was used to a more environment quiet and being surrounded by people who made the biggest noise was sneezing.

"I appreciate the warning but you don't have to worry" confirmed the other "my brother is also a noisy person, it will be nothing that he doesn't already know"

"He will be there?" he asked him. Because they could always invite him too.

“I don't think so” he admitted “he doesn't live in Rosohna and his military duties always keep him busy but ... he never told me when he's going to pay me a visit ... so ... I don't really know, wny do you ask? "

"For nothing, I just wanted to invite him too"

"You may regret it" he joked "imagine the chaos"

"Oh, it's worth it if I have the chance to see you again" had that just come out of his mouth? Caleb hadn't flirted with someone voluntarily in years and less, unintentionally so what he had just said had surprised him so much that after that, he fell silent, terrified that Essek would take this the wrong way.

"You flatter me" replied the drow after a few seconds that seemed eternal "I'm also a bit impatient and I will do everything possible to meet you, I can promise that I will try"

Caleb couldn't really ask for more and he knew it, he was also glad that Essek hasn't said anything about what he said before, only that he was flatered and that he was impatient although he didn't specify what he was like and didn't want to push his luck so he didn't ask about that.

He was happy that things were like this between the two of them, having met someone who filled a part of him that he didn't even know existed, in a way that his friends didn't fill it up and neither did Astrid and Eodwulf. He wasn't able to explain it and he felt that it was as if he was somehow cheating on the Mighty Nein and the long friendship that linked each and every one of them and the moments they had spent together, everything they had done for him but there was something about Essek that was different, that made him feel different.

It was strange and he wasn't able to understand him and he didn't know if he would eventually understand.

* * *

Rosohna was ... different.

To begin with the most obvious thing was that there was no sun, Essek had already warned him that they wouldn't arrive at the time of year when there used to be some sunlight as part of a ritual of the Luxon Beacon cult.

The second thing was the type of population that there was, the type of races that were there, from the moment the plane landed on the outskirts of Rosohna, Caleb realized that everyone was going to stand out because of their appearance, perhaps Fjord and Jester were going to be the least but the rest were going to be like a light in the middle of a dark night.

And the third thing was the style, in general, of how people dressed, how the buildings were in general, how they lived. It was all very different from what he had known all his life in the empire and he was constantly amazed by everything he saw.

Essek had sent him the address of a house that was available to rent during the days they were going to be in Rosohna, a small multi-room mansion that was in one of the best areas of the city and that had almost come out for a price that was ridiculous, he supposed that his friend had intervened a little in it but since his pocket wasn't full of money, he appreciated the detail if it had been and didn't say anything.

But the house turned out to be more than they all bargained for.

“It has a jacuzzi!” Veth exclaimed as she opened a downstairs door.

"NO FUCKING WAY" Beau, along with the rest, ran to see it"Holy shit, it's real, we have to party in here, it's like my fucking dream"

"Caleeeeb! Essek has to love you so much to leave us such an amazing house so cheap, ”Jester observed with a smirk.

And there it was, he had been waiting for some kind of comment like that since they entered the house and saw how magnificent it was and when Jester said it, Caleb let out a resigned sigh but didn't reply to it which led to a couple more comments on that.

"Come on, Essek is probably being a good host" observed Fjord "you know, this seems to be a fancy city so it may be trying to give a good image"

"Yeah, it doesn't seem like there are many tourists around here," Caleb observed to change the subject.

"I don't really remember a lot of tourist where I grew up" Yasha admitted "we were just my tribe and no one else"

"It's not like this place is very attractive" observed Beau "we are only here for Caleb to see his boyfriend"

"I don't have a boyfriend," he replied.

"You say that now" Jester added, moving her eyebrows up and down.

"Okay, time to choose a room" observed the wizard to change the subject again.

"I need to go buy some food," observed Caduceus.

"I will join you!" exclaimed the blue tiefling "I'm going to share a room with Fjord so pick one with nice views!"

"Okay, okay, Jessie, nice view, got it" said the half orc with a smile "Anybody else want to go shopping? I mean, we can go all together after choosing the rooms. "It would be more logical if we all went and so we buy everything we want for the whole week"

"And booze" Veth reminded him.

“Heck yeah, we need to buy booze to the new year's party” Beau then started talking about the party and what they should buy to make the best party ever, as she described.

In the end, after choosing the rooms, they all ended up wandering around the city of Rosohna, looking for a supermarket to be able to buy everything they needed. Of course, it was a longer outing than they had thought at first because they made various stops, in clothing stores, bookstores, they went on to buy magic items and even potions (although that was more out of curiosity than because they thought they were going to need them) so when they finally arrived they were tired of going around and wanted to finish everything quickly to go home to read the books they had bought or try on their new outfits or take a bath in that jacuzzi.

Caleb appreciated those moments despite the chaos that was having all the Mighty Neins in a small space (although this wasn't as small as the Netflix nights at the home of any of them) he was happy to be with his friends, towards years he wouldn't have imagined being able to be alive for it or simply find someone to trust and now he had a new family, perhaps not the most perfect in the world although he doubted that one was but it was his and he loved them all.

Even when they joked about his "relationship" with Essek.

What they didn't know, mainly because he didn't want more teasing than necessary, was that in his suitcase he had included a gift for the drow, he already knew that he didn't celebrate the same parties but it wasn't a gift of that type, nor a romantic one (or at least he didn't consider that it could be read between the lines as something of that style) but he had found a book he knew that Essek had a vast collection of books in his house but that it could be expanded even more. Caleb had located two books that could be useful to him, he thought that a book on the history of the Empire, although not very exciting, would help him to understand a little that he faced on the following occasions when he dealt with people of the Empire's government; and the other was about magic, it was quite basic but for him it had a certain emotional value because as a child he had had an identical one, a gift from his parents that he knew had been a small economic sacrifice for them which they had made willingly with such to make your little son happy.

He might have kept it to himself when he found that copy, but he thought the memories were going to be too much and that he could have a good home with Essek.

So as soon as they got home from shopping Caleb texted the drow, only to say that they had already arrived in Rosohna and had been spending a pleasant afternoon shopping around town. Essek replied that he was glad they had arrived and that he had cleaned up his schedule for the following night and thus fulfill his promise to go to dinner with them, although he added that his brother wasn't in the city, so he apologized but only he was going to attend .

All right, in twenty-four hours he was going to see Essek again and his friends were going to meet him. Everything was going to be fine, they were going to have a good time, they were going to get along, there would be no problems and everyone would have a good night.

Caleb convinced himself that everything was going to be okay.

* * *

Essek had endured all kinds of meetings throughout his life, he had met people who had treated him with respect and others who had looked down on him, he had talked about subjects that didn't interest him and with people who wanted to listen to him and none of the situations he had in mind gave him enough experience to attend that dinner.

It wasn't as if he thought they were going to kill him or treat him badly, Caleb had assured him that they weren't going to be unpleasant, just curious but that if at some point he was overwhelmed he just had to say it, that they would understand and they weren't going to bother.

Still ... in his life he had been as nervous as the moment he rang the doorbell of the house that he had managed to rent for Caleb and his friends.

That detail actually only knew well, Essek had wanted to provide his friend with a more than decent place for the days they were going to visit Rosohna, he knew that they could have rented something in a hotel or inn but he thought they would be more comfortable in a place where they could make whatever noise they wanted without fear of disturbing other people. That house had been ... recently released from the one living in there because the owner had committed an act of treason towards the Bright Queen and was in prison, so he took the opportunity to have it tidied up a bit and force it to be offered as home for rent and at a price ... very tempting.

The seconds that passed since he knockned on the door seemed eternal but when the door opened and an adorable blue tiefling appeared ... he didn't know what to say.

"Oh my god!" she exclaimed "Are you Essek?" She sounded very excited to see him and he could count on the fingers of one of her hands, and he had plenty of people who were excited to see him.

"Indeed, I am" he told her with a smile.

"GUYS!" the girl yelled towards the interior of the house "Caleb's boyfriend is here!"

Boyfriend?

"Come on, Essek, come in" the tiefling turned away from the door without losing her smile. "I'm Jester by the way!"

"A pleasure, Jester" Essek entered the house after the tiefling, he remembered it quite well since he used to go there to meet with the former owner ... among other things that he preferred not to think about.

He was immediately greeted by the most colorful group he had ever seen, there was a haffling woman dressed in yellow, next to her was a half orc. Jester had placed himself between him and a woman with white hair, huge and dressed in black, next to this was another human woman, with darker skin than the other and who wore a symbol around her neck that she remembered seeing in some Cobalt Soul people who'd been to the Zadash meeting and a Firbolg with long pink hair and gray skin.

And of course Caleb, Caleb was behind everyone's eyes but Essek's sight was direct to the kind face he knew above so many strange looks and he looked radiant, better than he remembered him and with a smile on his face. He was strange how just seeing him calmed him down and he didn't want to believe it was because of that stupid soulmate tale that his brother had told him months ago and in which he had thought more than he should have.

With luck, that night he would be able to know if the story was real or just that, a children's story.

"It's good to see you, mein Freund" greeted him.

"It is indeed" he replied. He was happy, he didn't understand how it was possible that he was so happy to see someone but he did.

"Mighty Nein, this is Shadowhand Essek Thelyss" he introduced.

"What's a shadowhand?" the human from the Cobalt Soul asked.

"And why are you floating?" asked the haffling woman.

"A pleasure too meet you, Essek" said the half orc "I'm Fjord"

"I'm Veth the Brave!" said the haffling "So ... what are your intentions with my boy?"

Essek went to answer that although he didn't quite understand the question from the haffling, it wasn't as if he was thinking of doing something to Caleb and he didn't even believe that she was really his mother, for obvious reasons.

"Caduceus Clay" said the firbolg, preventing him from having to answer Veth's question "I'm going to make some tea, you shold try a cup, it's cold here"

"I would want one, of course" although the drow didn't feel the cold so much, probably because he was used to that climate.

“I'm Yasha” the white-haired woman, as big as she was, radiated a charming shyness.

"And I'm Beau" said the remaining human "Still want to know what's a shadowhand by the way"

"I'm really glad that you found time to come here" again someone interrupted him to talk about his work, this time it was Caleb, who approached him and gave him a hug.

It was warm, Essek hadn't received many hugs throughout his life and most were from his brother which he didn't know if they were because he felt it or because he knew that the older one was a little bothered by the sudden contact. But he didn't reject Caleb, he couldn't do it (and again, he didn't know the reason behind this) so he let him hug him and shyly reciprocated, hardly knowing what to do.

"Aww, you two are so cuteee" Essek heard Jester say that just as the two separated which caused Caleb to cough a little nervous and he tried to do everything possible so that it wasn't noticed that he was dying of embarrassment.

"Ah ... I brought some wine" he told them, lifting a bag he was carrying. He had never been someone to show up at places where he had been invited (unless they were official meetings) for nothing in return and he knew that alcohol was always something that most people welcomed. So he had bought a couple of bottles of the one he knew to be the best in Rosohna. Or so they had told him.

"Sweeet" Beau was the one who approached and took the bag as if nothing and observed the contents "Hmm, I don't know this brand, is it from here? "

"Yes, it's a ... I'm not well versed in this matters but I was assured that it is one of the best vintages," he informed her.

"Beau is our expert in wines and alcohol" explained Caleb "it runs in the family"

"Then I hope your honest opinion" he said to the girl.

"Oh, you will have it," she assured him.

Well, it seemed like she had won over one of Caleb's friends with that wine, he had to start somewhere.

Essek found himself surrounded then by that group and the little chaos that Caleb had warned him about, since while they waited for the dinner to finish they settled in the living room a small interrogation began for which he is morally prepared. He understood that they weren't bad people but in a way, especially Jester, they reminded him of his brother, it was clear that they all had good intentions and that they cared about the wizard and that they want to know if he was going to be a good influence in life. of this or if he was going to end up hurting him. As he thought, Verin would have reacted in a similar way had he attended.

And his job was to assure them that it wasn't like that, Essek was many things but he had no intention of hurting the first friend he had in his entire life, the first person he felt was worth it ... to relate, for the that he knew there was someone outside who more or less understood his ambitions and interests.

So he wasn't going to screw things up so easily or risk losing him.

But to his surprise despite the initial doubts he had and the suspicions they might have towards him initially took a backseat as dinner progressed. The food was very varied and strange, there was cheese, bacon, vegetables, soup but there were also sweets like pancakes and the strangest thing, insects. Essek thought that if his mother were present at that table, she would have been outraged at such a disaster in the food and that she would also have been outraged when she saw them all speak so loudly without any manners and on such banal and unimportant topics as what they were thinking of doing. The rest of the days they had left there, about the preparations for the party and whether Essek could recommend places to visit around Rosohna or a nearby city.

Is not that he thought that Rosohna could be of tourist interest to anyone but he recommended that if they were interested they could try to visit The Marble Tomes Conservatory and that if they had problems entering (since he had to told them that maybe they would) they just had to call him and he would speak up for them. Outside of that he commented that they could visit Asarius or the ruins of Draconia but he told them not to go near Bazzoxan.

"Why?" Yasha asked him.

"Because it is a military post and one of the most dangerous places in all of Xhorhas due to its proximity to the Umbra Gates," he explained. Similarly he told them that there was an area around Rosohna, the Ghostlands for a similar reason. He didn't see them roaming around areas that were considered dangerous and their lives were in danger.

At the end of the night he had the feeling that those strange and noisy people, so curious and at the same time so simple and without an apparent hidden intention, had accepted him, he didn't know if as a friend, probably not because he considered it was too early but if at least he didn't think they were going to rip off his skin . Even at some point it had seemed that they cared about him as when Caduceus mentioned that they knew that he had made a great effort to be able to be with them that night when he had a lot of work and Jester added that he must not work so much or he was going to get sick.

They were kind and Essek wasn't used to having kind people in his life.

But the shadowhand had to go home despite the comfort of being with those people or the desire to chat a while longer, hopefully privately with Caleb (not that he had anything against the rest but he wanted to experiment on the subject of the soulmate to clear up doubts and couldn't do it with so many people nearby), the next day he had meetings very early and needed to rest enough to give his impeccable image that accompanied him.

"Aww, it's a shame you have to go" Jester pouted.

"Well, I have to work" he reminded the tiefling but seeing her expression of disappointment he couldn't help adding something that he thought to keep as a surprise "but don't worry we'll see you at the little party you plan to do for the end of the year"

"Oh, I didn't know you were coming," Caleb observed.

"It was going to be a surprise" he admitted but it didn't matter much either, he didn't mind having revealed it "but it's alright, I didn't want Jester to think that I wasn't coming back"

"You're still in time to run away," he joked.

"I already told you that I am not afraid" replied the drow.

"Yeez ... get a room," he heard Beau say.

Essek was the one who cleared his throat this time and tried to count in his mind how many times he had heard such a joke during dinner from one of them. He then saw Caleb grab his jacket and head for the door.

"Allow me to accompany you" said this "I want to show you something"

That, of course, piqued the curiosity of Essek, who had his own plan in mind to carry out, so after saying goodbye to everyone and receiving a hug from Jester that left him breathless, they walked together through the streets of Rosohna. It wasn't like his tower was far from the house where Caleb and the rest were staying so as much as he wanted to prolong something, there wasn't that much time.

"I hope you don't runaway now after meeting them"

"I wouldn't do that, I already told you they weren't going to scare me" sure, I wasn't going to deny that he had been nervous and worried and that he wasn't used to having to answer so many questions about himself and have a conversation that wasn't revolved around the peace treaty, war strategies, talking about the prisoners and about their work in general or the state of Xhorhas or the war itself “it was ... well ... let's say you don't want Jester and my brother meet, the world wouldn't survive that "

"Would it be that bad?" Caleb joked.

"Not necessarily bad but I'm afraid they would join together to play a joke on me," the drow admitted.

“So I take that you have liked them” maybe it was just his imagination but it seemed that he was worried that the opposite would have happened.

"They seem like good people, they care a lot about you" and Essek knew that he was being gentle, those people would kill for Caleb if by doing so they were protecting him.

"Ja, they ... do care about me" this time it sounded like he didn't quite believe that it happened and the drow also understood it although to a lesser degree because he, except Verin, had no one else to worry about a so genuinely for their well-being "sometimes I think they are more than I deserve"

Essek didn't know much about Caleb's past, he knew that he didn't speak much about it and understood that it must be for an important reason, he wasn't someone who was going to insist on wanting to know something when someone wasn't willing or ready to talk about it. Sometimes at his work he had to force someone to talk but he didn't intend to do such a thing with him. Whatever it was because he sometimes commented that he didn't deserve something or someone in his life, Essek wasn't going to force him to tell him.

After all, everyone had a secret.

"I am very glad to have come, Xhorhas is very different from the Empire but that doesn't make it less worthy or beautiful" he admitted "although I haven't come to see the landscape, I wanted to see you, I mean we've been talking all this time but it's not the same "

Essek didn't know what to say to that, again, except for his brother of course, he hadn't had many people in his life who wanted to see him because yes, for the pleasure of enjoying a chat with him or with his presence and it made him feel bad for it. Caleb would most likely change his mind if he knew what he had done.

But the drow wizard shook his head, trying to think more about what he had in mind than the past, neither Caleb nor anyone else was going to have to know that.

"And I have brought you something" he added when they reached the entrance of the Essek tower "I know you said that you don't celebrate Wintercrest but I found something that I thought you might like" and from inside his coat he took out two packages, both wrapped in paper pink with drawn unicorns "the paper belongs to Jester"

"Not into unicorns?" Essek joked.

"More like a cat person" he replied "I hope you like them ..."

"Of course I will" the drow didn't usually promise because but they were a gift from a friend and again, it wasn't as if he received gifts for the pleasure of giving him one very often.

Due to the size of the packages and the weight, it didn't take long for him to assume that they were books but that didn't make him less excited or less curious about what kind of books Caleb thought he might like. The first turned out to be a book on the history of the empire and the other, of magic, a book with simple spells, a beginner's book. He understood that the reason behind the first book, since technically in the dynasty they didn't know very little about the Empire (and it is not that they had any intention of learning and vice versa) and he imagined that the intention of the other was that he could learn a little so that It was useful to him but the magic book ... he didn't understand. And he couldn't help but look at Caleb, confused.

"Ah ... _ja_ ... I had that same book when I was little, my first book on magic" he explained somewhat embarrassed "and the other one ... I thought that if you had a meeting with someone from the empire it would be fine for you. know something about the subject, our history and ... background "

"Oh ... I understand" Essek understood a little better why he chose at least one of those two books "don't you want to keep it? For the memories"

" _Nein_ " the other shook his head and again gave him the feeling that he was back to being like a while ago, when he said that he didn't deserve anything good "I know that with you he will be well taken care of"

"Of course" it was clear that that book meant much more to Caleb than what his words let on, and Essek bit his tongue again to avoid asking why he no longer had that book in his collection. Instead it filled him with a strange and unfamiliar feeling that made ho, want to promise Caleb things he didn't even know if he was going to be able to fulfill.

Essek had to do it, first of all he had to check if that was true or not and once he knew it he would know what to do, how to continue but he first wanted to remove that weight from him. The drow had come with him a ring which could take a small edge and make a cut, he took advantage of the fact that he was looking for the key to the tower in a pocket to cut one of his fingers. Trying not to give any signal to the other that might give him a clue as to what he was doing, he bit his lip to try not to show any pain. Caleb's reaction would be more credible and less casual, he thought, if he didn't know what was going on.

If what Verin had told him was true, Caleb must have felt the same way he did.

He glanced over his man and then he saw it, saw Caleb look at his hand, as if he was looking for something in it.

The same hand that he himself had cut off.

* * *

Caleb knew thing that he understood and some he didn't.

What happened at the entrance of Essek's house was one of those things that, although he thought about them for hours, he wasn't able to understand them.

It was a whole cluster of things and he was trying to find some explanation for all of them. Essek had been somewhat elusive ever since and three days later, when they were going to celebrate the New Years Eve party, he didn't know if he was going to end up attending or not. Caleb wondered if he had done something wrong, if he had somehow said or done something that made him uncomfortable, if the books had been too much. But a part of himself said that maybe he was busy, his friend was a man with an important job for the Kryn Dynasty and he had already said that he had to move certain things to be able to have dinner with them that night, probably, he told himself too , he was doing his best to be free for the party.

But the second thing was the strangest of all and it was that pain under his skin which he felt when he went to open the door. It was as if something had cut him but when he checked, there wasn't the slightest wound, not a drop of blood, not a small cut that could have been made with the pages of the books or a scratch from Frumpkin. Nothing.

It wasn't something that happened to him often, to feel pain for no apparent reason and without any mark, he had always thought that the few times that had happened to him was due to a kind of phantom pain from his old wounds but he knew that there was no wound some. But above all, when he said goodbye to his friend, he realized that there was some blood on the same hand where he had noticed that cut.

But he didn't want to think about it, he didn't want to find another meaning in it and think about that old story about his mother or what Veth, Jester, and Beau had told him because he didn't want to believe that Essek could be doomed to him that way. He didn't deserve something like that.

But then again ... he wasn't sure.

Anyway the party was going to take place and Caleb went out of his way with the rest to decorate the house for that night, Jester had designed herself and used her magic paint to create unique ornaments that they hadn't been able to find or that they weren't to taste her. Jester was almost the official decorator when a party had to be held or someone moved and had to decorate a room, she was in charge.

Although Caleb was sure there was a painted dick somewhere in the house.

They had all bought typical Xhorhas clothes for the occasion (which weren't exactly cheap but Caleb was willing to indulge himself from time to time because the last time he had bought clothes was because Veth dragged him to do it ) and after dressing each one had started to do what they wanted. Caduceus was in the kitchen with Jester, Beau preparing cocktails in a bar, Veth and Yasha were with the music and Fjord was going from one place to another placing what they were giving him. And Caleb ... Caleb kept staring out the window, nervous.

"Come one, Caleb!" Beau exclaimed "Do some cool magic shit ! Make lights or whatever but stop looking out the window like a princess waiting for her prince to rescue her!"

"I'm not doing that" he replied.

"Yes you are" Veth confirmed.

" _Nein_ "

"You like him so much that hurts" Jester crooned "it's so obvious"

" _Neeeein_ , he's just a friend" he assured them.

"Come on, there's no need to bother Caleb with this," Fjord told them, setting down a bowl of nachos on the table.

" _Danke_ Fjord" Caleb decided to approach the table to help the half-orc and thus settle the matter.

But after a few minutes someone rang the doorbell and Jester's scream announced Essek's arrival. Caleb stiffened as a bar of iron, wondering if their nerves were about seeing him again after the strange goodbye they had had or if it was because of what he suspected they were.

Everything got three times more complicated when you thought there was something else on the board that you couldn't understand.

Essek came in with a smile and with Jester hugging him , which, well, gave a certain comic image to the scene but he didn't seem uncomfortable or annoyed with that show of affection, it almost seemed as if he had been waiting for it. He had brought wine like the last time since Beau had given the go-ahead to the one he had brought in the first dinner so this time he brought about six bottles, telling them that if there was any left over they could take them home again.

Caleb spent practically the entire party oscillating between his own thoughts on how he could tell Essek that he had most likely been unlucky enough to be his soulmate (and to do so before he returned to the Empire ) and enjoy it without anyone noticing that his mind wasn't with the rest of them. With a couple of drinks on his body it became easier and he sat on the couch with Frumpkin on his lap with the rest of them sitting around him as they tried to guess what it was that Fjord was drawing on the board.

Which, by the way, was not what he did best so they did nothing but laugh at him while the poor half-orc tried to make himself explain.

At various points the gazes between the two crossed between laughter and laughter or an attempt to guess what the other was drawing (showing that Essek was good enough at that game to be his first time, according to him, playing) and each time that was happening, Caleb ended up looking away, terrified that he could read it in his eyes.

Trent had always told him that in a man's eyes he could know more truth than in his words and he had proven that it was true and he didn't want Essek to know it from another side other than from his lips.

He had to tell him even if he didn't want to know what the drow thought of it.

Less than ten minutes to finish the year, it could be nice to end the year with that feeling out of his chest and start the next ... whatever, it didn't matter, he didn't want to imagine anything because he didn't even know what could happen, all that knowledge in his brain and he didn't know what could happen or what to do once he told him.

So ... why wouldn't he try? The worst that could happen was that Essek would send him to hell, which considering the pain it must have indirectly caused him, was something he could understand.

_Scheisse_ ... the only thing he had asked of any God who might listen to him in his life, to spare someone from that, and it hadn't been granted.

So Caleb got up from his seat to go to his room where he texted Essek asking him to meet him. A few minutes later the drow knocked on the door and entered silently, if he was concerned or confused by it he didn't show it.

" _Danke_ for coming, Essek" he told him when he saw him. He knew it had been very sudden but he was grateful that the other hadn't asked questions "I suppose you are asking why I asked you to come"

"I'm not going to lie to you saying no" he admitted "Is everything okay? Has something happened these days that I've been busy? "

"Ah, _ja_ ... everything is fine" he hastened to assure him "but I wanted to talk to you alone about a matter that has been haunting my mind these days"

"If there is any way I can help you ... you can count on me, whatever you need" assured the drow "I will do everything in my power to help you"

That didn't help him feel better, on the contrary, Essek didn't even know what was happening, that he was forced to be bound to him by the Gods, fate or whatever one wanted to believe him and that he would always feel his pain as if it were his.

"I'd rather we sit down, I'll be more comfortable talking about this if we're sitting down," he explained, taking a seat on the bed. "I want to try one thing first, to be sure," he added, pulling out one of the small knives they had used during dinner.

"Caleb ..." Essek looked suddenly tense.

"It will only be a second" he said bringing the edge to his arm but before he could make a cut, the drow stopped him "Essek I need to check something"

"Don't" he told him.

There was something, something he didn't understand, something he was missing because it was clear that Essek knew something.

And then it clicked in his brain from him.

Essek knew.

"Why?" he dared to ask him.

"You know why" he replied.

"Because it would hurt you too?" the wizard replied.

"Yes, it will" confirmed Essek "the same that it would hurt you in return if I do it, it will burn under our skin"

"You know" that wasn't an accusation or a confirmation, it was simply an affirmation to himself and to make sure that he had understood that . Essek knew, knew what was happening or at least knew what could happen if he cut himself, since when had he known? He thought about the blood that he had seen on his hand days ago, maybe that was the moment he knew it, he could have suspected it before and did that to confirm it just as he intended to do.

"And you know too" he observed.

"When?" Caleb asked him.

“I think since we met but until a few days ago I really didn't know it” he explained “my brother helped me, he found it on the Internet ... it seemed like a story at first but the idea was around through my head since then and wanted to ... do a test. When I found out that it was true ... I was doing some research on the subject in my spare time, I wanted to know what it was ... this because I had never heard of such a thing "

"And what did you discover?"

"That is something that also exists in our culture, only that it doesn't happen so much between us, I suppose it has to do with the consecution but outside of that ... I don't know anything ... there is no way to predict who will happen or the reason why it will happen to those two people or at what age one of the two begins to feel the pain of the other ... ”Essek talked and talked about what he had been investigating but the drow knew why, because it was something he didn't understand and he needed to understand to be able to face it, to be able to understand what had happened during all that time and to be able to help Caleb.

"According to my parents since they are young," he explained. His father had told him that it had been for him during his childhood sometimes but that it had increased for his mother, during her teenage years "I guess it depends on how reckless the person is or clumsy ... or the damage he receives" He added and knew he had to say something else "Ah..I'm sorry, I think ... you got the worst part in this" he admitted embarrassed. Caleb prayed that Essek didn't ask, that he didn't want to know why for so much of his life he had suffered the echo of pain under his skin of the blows he suffered. He knew it was something he was going to have to tell her but he didn't want to do right now.

"It's okay ... Caleb, I don't think you hurted yourself in purpose," Essek admitted. Was he curious? Yes, of course but he knew that he looked in his friend ... well ... soulmate's face, it was the face he made when he remembered something unpleasant. There would be time for that talk in the future "well, now you have tried but it was a test and I did the same so I think it would have left us in a draw"

"You're too kind," the wizard muttered. He didn't understand how lucky he was, anyone else would have been upset and blamed him for the damage he had done "I know I'm not the best soulmate to have"

"I try not to judge you, Caleb, you never did with me," he observed. He knew well that at first he could have been thrown out or rejected, he could have believed that someone from the dynasty wasn't to be trusted "and I think I'll be the one to judge that" and he himself could say something similar, if Caleb knew the truth he would say that a traitor was not the worst soulmate in the world.

"And ... what do you want to do about this?" I have asked.

"To be honest ... I've never liked my life being dictated by something, Caleb, you know what I think of ... faith but," the drow admitted. But all that was different and far from being upset, he was confused, above all but not angry and less with him "but we will see were this is going" said the drow at last "I can consider you my friend, Caleb, my first friend ... the first person I feel comfortable with ... if this is part of being who we are, then I don't mind because it's you, Caleb Widogast ”

"It's ... better than I deserve and hoped for but ... I can accept that" observed Caleb "because it's you, Essek" he added with a smile on his face. It was then that he heard someone knocking on the door of his room and Beau yelling at them to please stop making out and leave at once for the countdown "we should talk more ... later?"

"Later," Essek promised.

Neither of them knew what the future held, what would happen from the next day and with the new year, what it would bring them, and even more so when each one had a dangerous secret that could put each one's life at risk. together and separately but, for the moment, they were sure that whatever happened, they would try.

I was kinda funny that the soulmate of an ex-volstrucker was a member of the dynasty.

**Author's Note:**

> Holy nuggets, this is my longest one shot writed in my whole life and it took me a month, I did wonder if was going to finish it some day xD
> 
> Well, if you had read all of this then thank you so much and since english is not my mother tongue I'm sorry for any mistakes!


End file.
